Hormones Outta Whack!

I’ll just apologize in advance but this posting will not have any photos because I had a crazy day yesterday.  I go to work and see my coworker there with her 2 sons sitting in her office and another coworker who also was having her son meet her at her office (he’s in middle school).  I started to feel emotional ’cause why couldn’t I have the Kiggster with me at the office-granted I don’t have an office but why couldn’t she be with me in my cube?!  Then I attend a meeting where I bring the wrong information so I looked like a total fool, but then there’s an earthquake in the middle of that meeting.  I get emotional over an earthquake ’cause it’s the Kiggster’s very first earthquake and I wasn’t there with her!  I felt like I was missing out on her life.  Then I get home-finally-and my honey tells me he let her lick a papaya!  WHAT?!  We had talked about not giving solid food to her until she was 6 months-I still have a couple weeks AND I wanted to start her on her veggies first so she doesn’t get used to the sweet stuff.  Then I just broke down and cried ’cause I really felt like I was missing out on her life, she experienced her first papaya without me!  I wanted to start her on real foods over a weekend so I could experience it with her, see her reactions, experiment together, but I just feel like things are moving so fast…all without me! 

I’ve only been back at work for 2 months but it feels like decades and I’m feeling so tired, exhausted, and just sad that I’m back at work.  I only get the night times with her but she’s so tired during those times and I’m so tired from work that we don’t get to enjoy each other at all.  My Thursdays off bonding days are coming to an end in a couple weeks and I’m getting anxious.  How am I going to handle 5 whole days at work without any breaks with the Kiggster?  Ok, now I’m getting emotional again so I better stop.  Maybe if tonight is better, I can do an update with photos of the Kiggster.  She had quite the weekend so there’s actually a lot to share!


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