New Beginnings: Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Thank you so much to all of you for your support, prayers and thoughts for me after I shared about some things going on for me in my "How Does One Find Hope In A Hopeless Situation?"  It was so nice reading your comments and seeing your messages.  I am so grateful for having such an amazing Honey, wonderful Kiggster, awesome family and friends, loyal and encouraging fans, and supportive bloggy friends!  Through everyone's support, encouragement and prayers, Honey and I were able to come together and make the decision for me to resign my position at work!  It was a hard but also easy decision to make at the same time.  What was hard was thinking about how we would be so crushed financially since majority of our earnings comes from this job and our medical insurance comes from there too.  It provided a stable income and I'd spent 3 years at this job trying to build up my career, set myself up hopefully to be promoted, etc.  But we decided that Kiggster needed a present and joyful mom rather than a well-paid mom!  A part of me also kept hoping that I would magically be able to stay home with her, like win the lotto that I never buy tickets for.  Or win at a local seniors bingo night that my friend (a non-senior) keeps telling me she frequents and has won at!  But there's always online bingo too if I don't want to feel guilty for taking money from senior citizens!  

It started effecting me not only emotionally but also physically, mentally and spiritually.  I had a really hard time in the beginning of my pregnancy and had some weird complications (we'll talk about those another day) and for the longest time doctors were telling me it was "in my head and just relax!"  I lost hope that God would answer any of my prayers to take me away from this place and started going into a really dark place.  I was having thoughts of becoming sick, hurt or in an accident so that I wouldn't have to go back to work anymore. It was so nice to know that people were praying for me during a time when I didn't feel strong enough or hopeful enough to pray for myself and when my thoughts were going in the wrong direction.  The day I put in my resignation, I could already start feeling like tiny parts of me were feeling less heavy and some of the burdens were getting lifted.  People around us have been so supportive that I am completely speechless!  On that same day, I also got several calls from recruiters about job openings, crazy because I hadn't even told anyone yet and it totally felt like it was from God.  Of course I wasn't sure I wanted to work so soon even though we need it financially but a part of me wanted an excuse to stay home for a bit with Kiggster.  But regardless, it helped me to feel like at least God was telling us He had our backs and we didn't need to worry about how we were going to survive.  

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you farq more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ~Matthew 6: 25-27

So how did people react to my resignation?!  Some were shocked, some ignored, and some had this reaction…"so you're just going to stay home ?!" or "so you're just going to spend more time with your daughter?!"  They say it like it's a demeaning job or as if that's what people do when they have lost their ambition.  Honey and I have actually pondered this "issue" a lot and came up with these thoughts.  Before we had Kiggster, we had the drive to climb the corporate ladder, build our career and get promotions, make more money, seek for more "things" in our home, look for the job, etc.  But after Kiggster arrived, my focus no longer was about getting to the top but more focused on how I could find the job that would allow me more time with her and a job that truly would make a difference in other's lives in a personal way.  For Honey, it took a little more time to bond with her but when he did, his "drive" for a career advancement, etc also shifted.  He thought maybe he was no longer ambitious and had lost all ambitions but really, it was just changing as his role and place in life was changing.  He no longer chased after inventing the most cutting edge and successful start-up but cared more about what kind of father he was and became ambitious in other ways.  He was now motivated to help Kiggster learn to love God and how to help her to be a woman of character.  It's not that we've lost our drive or ambition but it has now changed with the new roles that we've taken on.  Just like how people adapt in a foreign country, take on a new language, food, culture, and lifestyle, why would we not expect people to change with such life changing experiences like having children?! So I'm not going to apologize to anyone for wanting to spend more time and stay home with Kiggster nor am I just staying home with her, I'm going to help her experience life, fall in love with her the people and things around her, teach her things that I've didn't have the "time" to teach her before and take her places that create tons of memories!  I think I'm even going to resurrect Treasured Thursdays if any of you have been around this blog long enough to remember it!

Some of the things I'm feeling "ambitious" with is taking the time to conduct my baby sign language classes, provide some free classes to our local library and hospital, and just go out and meet other families.  My second is building on this blog, Journey of A Kangaroo Mama and really spending the time to work on the series that I've been putting off for awhile now.  I am looking forward (that might be an understatement) to tomorrow being my last day at work and I already have so many plans for my time moving forward.  I am looking forward to what the future has to bring!  So my new job title and description is below, hope what I put together gives you a good laugh:  

Photo Credits: What Society Thinks I DoWhat My Parents Think I Will DoWhat My Neighbors Think I DoWhat Honey Thinks I DoWhat Companies Think I Do


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